Monthly Archives: May 2008

A Special Dedication

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 What makes good mothers

What makes good mothers? It is a pertinent question whose answer cannot be contained within a few words. Mothers comprise of a bundle of emotions that sometimes defy reason. So this goes out to all the mothers who have kept awake all night with their sick toddlers in their arms, constantly uttering those compassionate words, “It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here.”

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who don’t.

For those who show up at work with milk stains on their dress and diapers in their handbags.

For those mothers who cannot restrain tears from trickling down their cheeks when they hold their babies for the first time in their arms; and for the mothers who give birth to babies they’ll never see.

For the mothers who gave homes to babies and gifted them a family.

For the mothers who yell at their kids who clamour for ice cream before dinner.

For the mothers who defy all odds just to watch her kid perform and repeat to themselves
“That’s my child!!”

For all the mothers who read “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year, and then read it again. “Just one more time.”

For the mothers who taught their children to tie the shoelaces even before they started going to school.

For the mothers who incontinently turn their heads when they hear the word “Mom”,
even though they know that their kids are nowhere around.

For the mothers who silently shed tears for their children who have gone astray.

For all those mothers whose heart aches to watch her son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time.

For all the mothers of the victims of all these school shootings, and the mothers of those who were involved in the shooting.

For the mothers of the Survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, clinging to their child who just arrived from school safely.

So, this is meant for all the young and aged mothers, working mothers and housewives, married mothers and the single mothers, those with money and without and for those without whom life would have been insufferable. Wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day!!

Wishing some special mothers a wonderful mother’s day and mother’s day weekend.

Firstly to my own mom…you’re a gem!

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” – Washington Irving

Ireen – My best buddy since 18 in college and at work.

Let France have good mothers, and she will have good sons – Nepoleon Bonaparte

Nicole my ex-TL and workmate – the yummy mummy

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie – Tenneva Jordan

Hanie – my ex-workmate…another glamourous, supermodel mom

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. -Chinese Proverb

Intan @ Azalia – the famous lyricist, talented mother of 2 in Dubai, UAE

Most mothers are instinctive philosophers – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Ellie – From San Francisco, California, United States Malay singaporean, moved to the US when she married her husband.

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.” – Mildred B. Vermont

Simah – From Turkey, Malay Malaysian, seen here with husband and family

Mother’s love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. -Marion C. Garretty

Lollies – with family in Qatar, UAE

“Only mothers can think of the future-because they give birth to it in their children.” – Maxim Gorky

What makes good mothers” & Quotes taken from – An Article on Mother’s Day


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When you have faith…

 I’m waiting for 6am to rush up to 13th floor Surau to make Subuh Prayers and to calm myself down.

I came in at 4.30am. Not bad…not a lot of work just pressure from certain individuals.

Work is getting a bit more stressful these days. So many inflictions…rules..oh the list goes on. You cant even take MC or AL nowadays without feeling at peace or rasa bersalah. And at times I feel really really really under the weather but I have to force myself to go to work. I’m also on my 3rd trimester so imagine the weight and burden right now.

So unfair…
Did I tell you I had a major emergency on 30th April? My BP was 170 (high ok!) and doc at Bounstead sent me home *sigh* I had headaches but decided to go to work anyway. Suddenly at work the screen was blur, my stomach was doing summersaults. When I went home, I slept the whole day.

But tell me, how fun izzit going to work is all we get is pressure. How can we perform if all we get is pressure to perform.

*pause – rush to 13th floor for Subuh*

I opened up my drawer – took out my Asma Ul Husna (Rahsia & Amalan 99 Nama Allah – looked at 10 & 11

10 – penjagaan dr org zalim
11 – menundukkan org2 sombong

Understanding the 99 Names of Allah – Rahsia & Amalan 99 Nama Allah

I guess there is a difference to having faith and not having one.

In the meantime do read my writings from Raden Galoh. I think she’s a brave and fantastic woman. Cekal.

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Laptopless, anesthetical awareness & food cravings

After two weeks of laptopless (if ever there was a word) my darling husband has decided to piece together a pc for me. So effortlessly, he spent the whole weekend going here and there…and low yatt and back and forth; just like putting a jigsaw puzzle back together – casing, motherboard, monitor…and VOILA! I have a personal computer to work on *giggles*

Kita ayang Ayang lah!

Iznt my darling of a hubby a genius…*giggles* I get to play ZUMA DELUXE again and it sure beats watching DVDs….

But I do have recommendations :

Do watch – 27 Dresses & Over Her Dead Body


But do do please please watch AWAKE

Personally – because I have semi experience what Hayden Christensen’s character experienced in the movie. You see, every year one in 700 people wake up during surgery which they call “anesthetical awareness“. Its a condition when anesthesia fails during surgery, leaving one completely conscious and feeling every incision, but paralyzed and incapable of doing anything about it.

Why I say semi experienced is because unlike Clay (Christensen’s character), I had “anesthetical awareness” in the mids of my operation. For those who know me personally, the knew I had a microdisectomy for my proplased disc in 1996 (yeah….I have an 8 inch scar vertically to prove this)

I remember counting backwards from 10 in the OT, then woke up in the middle of it feeling this huge burning aching pain (like someone pouring lemon juice over an open cut wound), the surgeons voices and bleeps in the background. I felt as if my back was cracked open

I screamed like I never screamed before but it seemed like the scream was only inside of me, no noise came from my throat or mouth. All I could see was pitched dark and I was trashing but my hands and legs where not moving. I think passed-out a few minutes later, maybe because of the pain and the screaming and the trashing.

I never told my Ortho Surgeon….or my parents…..and only recently when I watched this, it all came back. It was like a repressed memory at the back of my mind that I hid far away. Maybe thats what you feel being halfway dead.
Ok…thats too depressing, lets talk about my favourite subject right now – FOOD CRAVINGS *grin*

Of course, over the course of two weeks I’ve practically become a slave to my cravings – which I think its high time I start eating more healthier stuff.

I had Kenny Rogers – extra gravy with mac&cheese, garden salad, potato pasley.

And Baskin Robins Berry Sherbet with Rasberry Cheese Louise with Strawberry and Hazel nut Toppings for dessert

Oh yes don’t forget the Black Forest regardless from Starbucks or Secret Recipe

And FINALLY we found the perfect briyani at JM Briyani at TESCOs AMPANG*sorry no photo, I was too into my briyani to take photos, cant leave the spoon even a second HA HA HA*

But I’ve had time brush up cultinary skills as well

Remember the smoked salmon?

I made cute little canapés from feta cheese, smoked salmon (drizze with a bit of lemon juice) tomato, big shallots, tomato & olive slices.

I had it that day with Sunkist Orange/Grapefruit Juice plus Canned Lycees and its syrup.

And with the ‘burger malaysia’ dough recipe I made fried Sardin Mini Buns which I shared with darling hubby (sedap kan yang resepi ori I??)

But of recently, I’ve been a shopaholic for fruits – in just one week, I bought half of a watermelon, 1kilo of papaya, 2 kilos of seedless grapes, 5 pears, 5 washington red apples, 5 navel oranges, 10 plums. My vege compartment is packed to the rim with my fruits and baby kicks and squirms 10 minutes after I eat them, which is a wonderful feeling!

Better than muching sour cream crisps right?

I decided to dress the cot with the bedding that we got free with the cot. Its blue (ya ya ya – its not even definate its a boy but heck…who cares….) I just think its getting adorable by the day. I’ve yet to pick out cute teddies for my baby, hopefully to avoid the “selimut busuk or bantal busuk” sydrom I had with Aliya. But one never knows, you only hope for the best as parents.

I can’t believe am 2 1/2 months away from my due date….*gasp*

Prayers peps!!

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A Prayer Guide For Pregnant Muslim Mothers

Of recently I have tried very hard to observe my prayers as a muslim who is heavily pregnant (I am 6 months going on to 7 right now). My husband has advise me to perfom the prayers (salah/solat) while sitting down, but I find it hard to balance myself, sitting myself with my legs tucked under like we normally do for the sitting between two Sujuds / Prostrations.

I am reluctant to leave my prayers and I totally agree with Lulua  a senior member on the – islamic Web-Community

There is no ruling or valid excuse for a pregnant woman to miss her prayers. If she is physically incapable of performing her prayer while standing, then that will classify her to offer her prayers sitting. And if not physically able to perform her prayers even sitting, then she is to perform her prayers lying down. In any case, the prayer is an important aspect of a muslims’ admittance and acceptance in Islam, and without the prayer, there is no Islam. The companions of the prophet(SAAW) and the following scholars after their times have issued many statements and rulings to this effect…i.e. that one who leaves the prayers without valid reason (acceptable according to the laws established in the Quran and Hadith), then they have entered into kufr, i.e. non-islam. And Allah knows best.

Pregnancy is a difficult time, sure, but the woman is at a time in her life now when she is in more need of guidance and help from Allah, more so than previously. Why should she wish to cut off her form of communication with her Almighty Lord and Master? In fact, if she will make the proper cleansing (wudhu) in preparation, and commence to perform the prayer in the most perfect and devoted manner that she can, and continue during this prayer to ask Allah to relieve her of any discomfort or pain that she is going thru, then surely He will help her, if not alleviate her discomforts, then to at least help her to handle and bear the discomforts that she is going thru.

I am a woman, and a mother as well. And I can reassure you that I am quite familiar with the pains and discomforts and difficulties that a woman goes thru during pregnancy. But to leave the prayers due to those discomforts and difficulties only serves to increase them. When you turn to Allah in full faith that He hears and listens and responds to you prayers, then He does not abandon you. But when you abandon Allah, and abandon your responsibilities and duties to Allah, then He also abandons you. He is there for us all whenever we need Him, and in any way. But we must make the move to approach Him, and the best and foremost method of approach is of course thru the prayer. This prayer, although dedicated and performed for Him, is in fact for the individual, to create a firm and strong link or bond with the Creator, and therefore keep open the path of communication in order that when the individual needs anything (which we need many things daily), then he has the ability to ask, and the open line with which to communicate. By ignoring the prayer, for any reason (no matter how valid or important it may seem), then we in fact close off that line of connection which is so direly important to our very souls and even our existence.

Below is a translation taken from Darul Nu’man Forum –  Is my solah perfect? on how to perform prayers (salah/solat) when you are heavily pregnant. I find that it is perfect and I am confident my prayers are acceptable in the eyes of Allah s.w.t. I hope it will be a guide to all pregnant muslim women who are looking for proper ways to pray during such difficult months.

As the words taken from Bayan Masturat by Syed Ahmad Khan

The 2 rakaah prayers of a pregnant woman is far more better that 80 rakaah of those (women) who are not pregnant



1.Prepare the chair behind yourself (while you are standing for the tabiratul ihram or Takbirat Al Ihram)

2.Rukuk (Ruku) – place yourself sitting on the chair. Both palms on your thighs and as you move your body forward slightly to rukuk, the hands move forward stopping when your palms reach your knees.

3.Standing up from Rukuk(Ruku)/Bowing – Straighten yourself back to an upright sitting position and placing you palms back on to your thighs.

4.Sujud / Prostrations – Move your body forward, a little bit more than when your did for your rukuk, the hands move forward stopping when your palms reach your knees.

5.Sitting between the 2 Sujud / Prostrations – Straighten yourself back to an upright sitting position and placing you palms back on to your thighs. Then the tuma’ninah (pause)

6.Repeat Position 4 for the second sujud.

7.Raise yourself from the chair and stand for the second raka’at(raka’ah) (or the next raka’at(raka’ah))

8. For every rukuk repeat position 2 and every sujud repeat positions 4 & 5

9. For your tahyat-awal(tashahhud) and tahyat-akhir (tashahhud-akher) – place yourself sitting on the chair, palms on your thighs you recite the tahyat-awal (first portion of the tashahhud) or the tahyat-akhir (tashahhud-akher).



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Vivid Dreams…

They say pregnant woman have vivid dreams. I have no qualms for not seconding that. My dreams have been so vivid that I’m conjuring up painful memories of the past.

As hard as I try to supress them into thin air, they seem to haunt me, now more than ever.

It’s about Z and it hurts.

I do ask myself why it had to hurt so much. Then I listened to Anuar Zain’s Tinggalkan Aku…and I found my answer….

Tinggalkan Aku  

katamu cinta telah tiada
sendiri aku menahan pedih ini
hilang semua rasa
habis begitu saja
untuk bersama buat selamanya

katamu dia yang lebih sempurna
dia lagi jiwa
dia lafaz asmara
bisikan kata2 akhirmu itu menusuk jiwaku
kini kau dtg utk kembali padaku

pergi sudah tinggalkn aku
ku tak ingin engkau ada
kembali lg kedlm cerita hidupku ini
ku bahagia tanpa drimu
biar begini adanya aku
tanpamu ku temukan sinarnya

bisikan kata akhirmu itu
menusuk jiwaku
kini kau dtg kembali padaku lagi
pergi sudah tggalkan aku
tak ingin engkau ada kembali lg kedalam crita hidupku ini
ku bahagia tanpa dirimu
biar begini adanya
tanpamu ku temukan sinarnya

usah lagi kau guris hatiku
ku tak mahu lagi merasa kan hadirmu dlm duniaku
pergilah dr hidupku

tak ingin kau ada

hilang semua rasa
habis begitu saja
untuk bersama buat selamanya

katamu dia yang lebih sempurna
dia lagi jiwa
dia lafaz asmara
bisikan kata2 akhirmu itu menusuk jiwaku
kini kau dtg utk kembali padaku

pergi sudah tinggalkn aku
ku tak ingin engkau ada
kembali lg kedlm cerita hidupku ini
ku bahagia tanpa drimu
biar begini adanya aku
tanpamu ku temukan sinarnya

kerana tanpamu ku temukan sinarnya

taken from Anuar Zain’s website

kerana tanpamu ku temukan sinarnya ” – Ayang…thank you for all those loving words, saying I deserve better…and better = YOU

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